Poem Full Details

    
The Edge of Madness


My world has been darkened

My memories forgotten--
I'm balancing on the edge of madness.
Although it's deceiving, my brain has me seeing
These shadows that wander
And laugh at my sadness.

I see birds that are flying
But backwards they're flying
And the walls now are twisting about.
The voices are calling
I feel that I'm falling
My brain now I'm starting to doubt.

I can't understand just went went wrong
As I lay in my padded room
Because all I recall
Was the time that I'd spent
With the old man in 402!

I can hear someone knocking outside of my door
Whispering to me through vents in the floor.
The knocking continues again and again
And the voices get louder inside of the vents.
I stand by my bedside, shouting out loud...
Leave me alone!
Stay out of my head!
LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU CANNOT COME IN!!!

When I fluttered my eyes
The floor came alive
And I'm suddenly covered in bees.
In a blink of an eye, my room is the hive...
What the hell is happening to me??

I yelled for the nurse
And started to curse
And pounded the door with my fists.
I tear at my face
And swat at my ears
And scream at the top of my lungs in fear!

And then it all stopped.
The room was still
And the bees that attacked me had all disappeared!

It is days such as these
When I'm wondering...
If I'll ever see daylight again.
But because I believed
I was covered in bees
Nurse Gloria Sue
Had noted my screams
And told Dr. Sullivan that I was hallucinating!

So they brought in the jacket
That over-sized jacket--
The one with the buckles and chains.
As I pleaded my case
The guards held me still
As they tightened the straps on my waist.

I talked to the doc around seven o'clock
About the incident in 402
But all that he said was to go back to bed
And he'd see me tomorrow at noon.

As I sit in the corner of a well-padded room
In a jacket that keeps out the cold
I constantly pray that I'll get out today
But it's not all that likely, I'm told.

I spend all my time
Just clearing my mind
SO tomorrow I can prove to the doc...
That the pills he'd prescribed, were making me sick
And maybe
Jut maybe
I can get back to my life--
To my job
To my kids
To my wonderful wife.
Just the though of this helps me sleep through the night.
But while I was dreaming, I was awakened in fright
By whispering voices
And a light in my eyes.

There were echoes of laughter
As I woke from my sleep
While staring at the ceiling grate.
When I attempted to move to the edge of my bed
I found myself hung up
In a four-point restraint!

I looked to my left
I jerked to my right.
No doctors were there--
Just the men in the white
Each smelling of whiskey from the previous night.
They were holding the straps
And pulling them tight
While I yelled for the nurse
But no nurses in sight!

There was no way to win
As they showed off their grins
While gripping my jaw and holding my chin...
And taking some pills
And shoving them in
Then waiting...
And waiting...
Until they kicked in!

I tried to keep still as they forced down the pills
That brought back the birds and the bees.
When the doctor came in on the following day
He had noticed the madness in me.
He shook his head and immediately said,
"You leave me no choice
But to continue the drugs
And double your dosage
For seven more months...

And then we will see if the birds and the bees
Come back to bother you then.
If they do... that's a problem
ANd you'll have to stay longer
'Cause we'll have to start all over again!"

When I spoke of the pills
That were making me ill
He forced a shot into my skin.
In a matter of time
I was back in the hive--
Just the bees and me once again.

The nurse fed me pudding for breakfast and lunch.
Of course it was laced with some lunatic drugs.
And dinner was served through a flexible plug
That attached to my mouth so I could eat when I want!

And all of this time, I've been thinking of why...
Why was I left in an asylum to die?
And all I could think of was my appointment last year
With my family doctor who committed me here.

I had talked to him briefly about a sty in my eye
Maybe passed along from my kids or my wife.
A routine visit
I had thought at the time...
But it was then when he looked at my children and wife
And asked them politely to wait outside.
And as soon as the did
I had asked him why
But he just closed the door with a lengthy sigh.

I stood up in panic and started to cry
And asked him,
Doctor...am I gong to die?
But before he could answer
The door opened wide
And in walked three men
Who were dressed in white.

I wanted to go...
But they gripped my arms tight--
I didn't know why... so I put up a fight.
And during the fight with the men in the white
My doctor had stuck a shot into my thigh!

And it's here where my troubles began to unfold
Because this doctor of mine was extremely old
And the nurse warned me earlier
That his hearing aid broke
And to speak in a loud, understandable tone.

And though I was speaking as loud as I could
This doctor of mine
Misunderstood....
When I spoke of my problem... this sty in my eye....
What he thought--
What he heard--
Was the word...SUICIDE.
And the day he committed me
My doctor, he died.
And my doctor was one who was very well liked
By the doctors who worked in the Greenview Asylum
Who believed that my doctor was undoubtedly right!

So now here I sit on the floor in my room
Just me and the birds and the bees.
The men in the vents
Continue to speak.
The shadows that wander
Keep laughing at me
And the nurses keep slipping the pills in my drinks.
So what do I think?
What do I think?

When I think of this mistake that was made in my life
That has kept me from seeing my kids and my wife
When I think of the doctors
And the men in the white...
There's one thing that bothers me
Night after night...

They still haven't treated this sty in my eye!


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